Help me-Question concerning TOCD

2021.10.20 00:40 ItzEDITH Help me-Question concerning TOCD

Hi, reddit. Who knows this might be my last ever post before I end it all. I want to be transparent with you all. I don't want to sound transphobic or homophobic. I am sorry if that sounded that way. To start off I am a 14 year old male and I want it that way. But it all started with the TOCD. I got better for a week until I relapsed. I am not gender dysphoria or anything. In all honesty I am actually proud of my dk. But my thoughts tell me I am faking it. I enjoyed the week where I felt good about my gender as a guy a male. Which I always want it that way. Today when I was swimming I acted like a girl. Which honestly I kind of liked it for like 5 seconds but after the swimming and revaluation I know what I felt. All I felt was fake happiness I felt like I was forcing myself to imagine myself as a girl. But after all that I just felt depressed. I felt empty faking. I don't want to lose my dk. But I kept feeling feminine which I hate. TOCD hurt me to the point I don't think I'll ever be able to get my old male self. I don't want to be trans I really don't. But if I were I have to learn to accept myself. If I could wake up again in a new life I would want to wake up as a cishet male. I don't get anxiety anymore I just feel hopeless and sad. I don't want to be a woman. I really wish that nobody experience this. I can swear to God on behalf of my most beloved people's life that me not wanting to be a girl is not a lie. I wish I can feel happiness again as a boy. This might be my last post ever. I want comments from people who have experienced ocd or anybody that would understand me. Please don't tell me that I am trans. I really don't want to be. Some questions I have are: Do boys have a girly phase like some girls? Can tocd turn you trans? Can you be even trans without wanting to be the opposite gender? I hope all of this is a phase. I want to be a guy in the future. I want to be a father in the future. I want to be a guy not a woman. I wish to become a person that is happy of himself as a male. This might be my last ever excerpt. I don't feel hopeful anymore. I don't want to live as a trans woman anymore. I don't want to be trans but I feel like it. And I want to be a man but I feel like I am faking it. I have heard of agender before and that doesn't fit me. I just want to be a guy. Please. Is this how trans people felt?
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2021.10.20 00:40 euphemistdove Pretty Cool for $30. Found at an antique store case.

Pretty Cool for $30. Found at an antique store case. submitted by euphemistdove to Wallstreetsilver [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 weltall445 Items up for grabs, cheap

Used Office Chair, still in great condition- $25.
$129 new on amazon -
Manduka Pro Yoga mat, Yoga towel, yoga blocks, yoga mat carrier, yoga mat cleaner - $85 for all, barely used. Over $250 new.
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2021.10.20 00:40 daisydyke still hate myself for starting this at work when i absolutely could not finish and now it’s forever stuck plz is there a way to delete it i’m begging

still hate myself for starting this at work when i absolutely could not finish and now it’s forever stuck plz is there a way to delete it i’m begging submitted by daisydyke to pokemongo [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 PseudoSpammer [No Spoilers] I relate to Taliesin the most out the cast in regards to being human.

I feel like Taliesin is really open and honest with the rest of the cast and also the audience about when he's struggling to keep things together in moments of stress. He often says things, and I'm paraphrasing, "this is my brain at the moment" or I remember one moment where he put it more into his character "I was off the mark with that". I find a lot of inspiration and hope for myself in these moments. The way he deals with with stress and is able to continue being cooperative with the group is something I try to aspire to. I think we often have moments of struggle with ourselves, and to keep going and continue to work as part of a team during those moments is a trait or skill I don't think a lot of people have. I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the honesty and humility he brings to the critical role table.
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2021.10.20 00:40 Xcal_boi Restriction on religion:

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2021.10.20 00:40 millgfx Gush mints stackin

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2021.10.20 00:40 Silvertongue-Devil 2020 ram 2500 tailgate keeps opening itself

Anyone else with a 2020 ram 2500 have any issues with this new electronic tailgate release crap opening the tailgate while driving down the road? Had it open with a trailer damaged the tailgate .. had it open driving and lost tool box had to pickup tools for half an hour on highway
Ram says it's an unknown issue and they cant duplicate it but I can shake the tailgate and it will unlatch and drop 🙄🖕
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2021.10.20 00:40 ClaireJ4u Um I dont have Steve leveled up at all and dont spend a single shard in the shrine so why am I able to get it? I know they will be there when stranger things goes away but they are still here.

Um I dont have Steve leveled up at all and dont spend a single shard in the shrine so why am I able to get it? I know they will be there when stranger things goes away but they are still here. submitted by ClaireJ4u to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 dirtyharrison Trump on Colin Powell: Made Big Mistakes, Anyway May He Rest in Peace

Trump on Colin Powell: Made Big Mistakes, Anyway May He Rest in Peace submitted by dirtyharrison to NewsWhatever [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 Incognito_Igloo US politics is truly awful. From gerrymandering, to lobbying, to mass dark money donation, etc.

US politics is truly awful. From gerrymandering, to lobbying, to mass dark money donation, etc. submitted by Incognito_Igloo to awfuleverything [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 dirtyharrison WATCH: Aaron Rodgers Sounds Off on 'PC Woke Culture' After Feud with Bears Fans

WATCH: Aaron Rodgers Sounds Off on 'PC Woke Culture' After Feud with Bears Fans submitted by dirtyharrison to NewsWhatever [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 AutoNewspaperAdmin [JP] - Kumamoto’s Mount Aso erupts as alert level raised | The Japan Times

[JP] - Kumamoto’s Mount Aso erupts as alert level raised | The Japan Times submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 WarthogPrestigious Big school meme OC

Big school meme OC submitted by WarthogPrestigious to SaimanSays [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 YxngHell Have you ever been arrested and for what?

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2021.10.20 00:40 Reip8 My opinion on all the bars I’ve tried so far . Agree or disagree?

My opinion on all the bars I’ve tried so far . Agree or disagree? submitted by Reip8 to DrSquatch [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 Timenim Weather app

I got the Android 12 update today, I have been running the beta. I don't have the weather app widget, does anyone know what is going on? I didn't have it in the beta either. Thanks
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2021.10.20 00:40 the_1_that_knocks Florida Worker Applied to 60 Entry-Level Jobs, Got One Interview

Florida Worker Applied to 60 Entry-Level Jobs, Got One Interview submitted by the_1_that_knocks to jacksonville [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 FrolickingCats Kazuha's swirl spoiled me

I tried going with Sucrose on my second team for the Abyss because Kazuha was on the first one. Damn, it was so hard to get that freaking butterfly to pick up a damn element!
With Kazuha you so much as sneeze and he picks up hydro. If there's even a barely lit candle in the corner of the arena, he will pick up pyro. He just makes swirling elements so easy!
/end rant
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2021.10.20 00:40 geekman23000 JORMUNGANDR AWAKES

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2021.10.20 00:40 Maxaurice What’s up with Cindy Barshop and her brother?

The tension between her brother and her ex boyfriend, their interactions, the weird over the top reaction to him from Ramona at the horse party, whats going on there?
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2021.10.20 00:40 princesskeestrr God said “let there be light” and so there was. And it was good.

It was mid-July.
I was crumpled on the floor of the Atlanta airport, tears streaking my face, my kids’ small, warm bodies pressed against me, nestled in, their heads resting on my shoulders. If you bury your nose right behind their ears, they still smell the same as the day they were born. Words came to me unbidden, like they were sent via a telepathic direct line to my brain. A prayer I hadn’t thought of in years.
A friend’s name popped up on my phone screen. “Hey. Thinking about you. Everything ok?”
I wiped my face and swiped right on the notification. “Hey!!! Omg, it’s been awhile! Miss you lots! All is well, besides missing my connecting flight and being stranded in Atlanta, lol. Would you believe that all the rental cars are rented, the hotels near the airport are all booked, and the next flight home isn’t for two days?!”
“I can help, just let me know how you want me to. I will start by booking you a room near the airport.”
It was early August. I was feeling pretty good. The initial shock of losing my kids had worn off and I was cautiously optimistic about regaining custody quickly. Of course. Even drug addicts get their kids back. My lawyer sent me an invoice. Oh. We are past the retainer.
Well, good news came. I just booked my first client on my own in my new location. I did my due diligence, vetted the address, texted a friend as to where I would be just in case of stranger danger.
When I walked into the house, I knew that no one had been there in quite some time. It also registered that he had shut the door and was standing directly behind me.
“You know, you should be more careful, walking alone into a man’s house.”
It will never cease to surprise me how ineffective I am in these kinds of situations. Just all around panic and the general “good God that horror movie bimbo must be trying to get herself killed” kind of idiocy observed in most prey animals. Deer in headlights, rabbit running headfirst into a fence sorts of shit.
God. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
There is an acceptance, a sense of peace, and a resignation that comes with being caught in a riptide with the knowledge that you don’t have to fight anymore. That, in fact, you shouldn’t fight. Shame can’t touch you in this state of mind. For once, it isn’t in your hands. Eventually, what once was calm and safe, will be again. While we suffer from patience, it’s virtue can grant us such power.
It was early September. In an unusual act of faith, I signed a lease on an apartment that I couldn’t quite afford. I have never done anything remotely like this in my life. I am typically very frugal. My online persona notwithstanding, I am the cautious type. But these apartments were so … available. Also, very nice.
I was afraid. Afraid of being on my own. I worried that I would let everyone down, that I would have to borrow money. I know how fortunate I am to have people. People from whom I can borrow. Still, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to live with the shame of not being able to support myself. Fuck it. I signed the lease [and prayed.]((
I had a job offer by the end of the day. An interview within 24 hours. The exact amount of salary down to the dollar that I had calculated to be my requirement to allow me a comfortable budget. Everything that matters to me me professionally was exactly what they were seeking. My interviewer asked if I thought that the universe had brought us together. I turned and looked into her beautiful blue eyes.
Yes. I believe that.
She handed me some keys. “Welcome, we are so happy to have you.”
TL;DR meditation is miraculous. I’m sorry I knocked it and I believe I’ve come a long way since WO30 in this respect. I think it’s like listening for the universe to guide you. The answer was inside us all along.
Also, I’m sorry if this is hot nonsense, I’m burning the candle at both ends and middle of the night wake ups aren’t supposed to yield coherent Reddit posts anyway. Happy Wednesday HO30!
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2021.10.20 00:40 Drone2Address #drone #droneimages The most riskiest shot I ever took | Carnaza Island, Philippines (MA2)

#drone #droneimages The most riskiest shot I ever took | Carnaza Island, Philippines (MA2) submitted by Drone2Address to Drone2Address [link] [comments]

2021.10.20 00:40 Representative_Risk Dealer discount?

Do dealers offer any kind of discount or honor the Friends program discount on brand new Rubicon build? I am planning to build my Rubicon and wondering what my options are.
Thanks in advance!
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2021.10.20 00:40 omegalulluver Gamer couple looking to play valorant consistently with people eu silver to gold

We want true friends add me on discord if you’re interested hentai luver#4490
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